Short Story Interlude

Stranger Than Fiction

By A. Dacosta Brathway

    While a sophomore at Bowie State College, I decided to take a class in Anatomy. I had some idea that I wanted to learn something about my body and why I was so stimulated being around chubby college girls. I could not get dates with the finer women so I started chasing the heavier set. Then the word got out that I was "settling" for "fat girls" because they were easier to bag and I was bragging about it! And before I knew it the big women started dumping me left and right! What the hell was wrong with me? I had a good thing going

    I enrolled in Dr. Bombay's class. He was a noted Psychologist on campus. Well respected by his colleagues, Dr. Bombay carried himself like he was the pre-eminent authority on the human mind. I don't know about everyone else, but I was impressed!

    I started the semester real well but after I failed two pop quizzes, I started to have my doubts. I felt like I had fallen way behind. I was .contemplating cutting my losses and dropping the class. I needed to talk to him about my chances of survival so I swallowed my pride and shadowed my fear and asked if I could schedule a private meeting with Dr. Bombay. He agreed. On the day of the meeting, I was as nervous as a six grader being called to the nurse's office for an unscheduled booster shot! I wanted to go but was afraid of what he might say. With sweaty palms, I went in his office and there he was. He was sitting in his big chair with his backed turned to the door. He knew it was me.

"Come in and have a seat sir!" he bellowed in his big West Indian accent. Slowly he turned... (No, there was no step by step or inch by inch!) and looked through me. I sat down and froze as he looked me over.

 

    "What seems to be the problem with you in my class?" He asked.

    "Sir, I enrolled in your class for all the wrong reasons. I wanted to get some understanding about myself "Sir, I don't think I'm going to make it through the semester in your class! I seem the

have a problem with the subject matter." I replied as I twitched in my cramped metal seat.
   
    "What is your problem?"

    "Dr. Bombay," I started, "I have a confession to make. I enrolled in your class under a false academic pretence. I have no real interest in learning Psychology, I was having a personal problem and I thought I could figure things out if I had a better understanding of how my mind worked!"

    Dr. Bombay looked me directly in the eyes and asked me to be more specific... After explaining my situation to him, he reared back in his big chair and stroked his chin. He then leaned forward and glared at me sympathetically.

    "Son, let me tell you a little story..." I leaned back, knowing that this was going to be a

long story. "When I married my first wife, I was just starting on my first teaching position. I was young and full of myself too. I knew I was the 'cats meow' as it were!" (The "Cat's Meow?" What the hell was that I thought as I started to drift?) "Pay attention son, this is for your own good!" He bellowed.

    "Any who... I got married and my wife and I decided to have a baby. We consummated our love on a very romantic night. There were flowers and candy and libation, all of which made for a wonderful night! Nine months later she gave birth to a beautiful baby boy! But there was one problem... He was born a head!"

    "A head?" I shuddered!

    "Yes, a head! Just a head... A head as in no body present. No arms, no legs, no appendages! There were holes where those things were supposed to be but they were not!"

    "What did you do?"

    "What could I do? I wanted to run out of the delivery room but I had to stand up and be a man! I looked at my wife and she was passed out from exhaustion. It was a difficult birth and a humongous head! Any way, after a few days the shock had worn off and with the doctor's reassurance that a body would develop, we took our son home to start the long process of being parents. We decided to name him Headley and called him 'Head' for short."

     At that point, if I were drinking something, I would have done a spit-take but, after all, this was Dr. Bombay sharing a personal story with me. I held in my laughter. He continued on with his son's story and I found myself feeling sorry for Headley. I could not imagine just being a head at birth. He told me how his wife cared for 'Head.' How much she loved 'Head' and what she would do to get 'Head' whatever he needed. Dr. Bombay said he wife was there for 'Head' whenever!

    Then, after a year, they started that there were signs that 'Head' was starting to develop a body. The holes were starting to close and become solid. They took him back to the doctor and the doctor told them that he was showing all of the signs that a body would appear but they had to be careful at this crucial juncture. They had to keep him inside as much as possible. In their happiness, they took 'Head' to the golf course park across from the hospital after his doctor's appointment to soak in some sunshine! They figured what could it harm if 'Head' was taken in the sun for a little while? They rolled upon a nice spot where an empty bench was. There was a golf car path and on the other side of the path was the 18^th hole. Mrs. Bombay took 'Head' out of his stroller and sat him face down in her lap so that his face would not get sunburned... And then he said...

    "I saw a water fountain a couple of yards from the bench so I got up to quench my thirst. Just as I lowered my head, my wife let out scream like I never heard before! I turned around and ran back to the bench only to find a golf ball lodged in the back of my son's head! My wife sat there crying her heart out. It took me awhile but I got over the trauma. My wife never did. She still, to this day, misses 'Head.'

    "Excuse me sir...," I interrupted, "... What does this have to do with my situation?" Dr. Bombay stared straight into my eyes and without blinking he said to me, "Son, sometimes you just have to quit while you are a head!

© A. Dacosta Brathway 2009